Est. 2026 · Bushwick · Brooklyn · Kein Schild

Germanhaus

KLUB · DISCO · KELLER

A Berlin-grade techno cathedral in a warehouse we will not name, on a street we will not name, behind a door that looks exactly like the door next to it. Doors at midnight. Doors close Tuesday, probably.

▼ runter ▼

Die Tür / The Door

Heute nicht.
Vielleicht morgen.

  1. Keine Fotos. We put a sticker over your phone camera. We put a second sticker over the first sticker. Removing a sticker is grounds for permanent exile to a rooftop bar in Williamsburg.
  2. Dress code: Schwarz. Black. Not navy. Not "dark charcoal." If you are unsure whether it is black, it is navy.
  3. Consent is the only rule enforced harder than the dress code. Ask. Listen. Respect a no. Awareness team on every floor, lilac armbands, zero tolerance.
  4. Do not say the B-word in line. You know the one. Comparing us to a certain power plant in Friedrichshain adds three hours to your wait.
  5. Groups of more than two will be politely separated and re-sorted by vibe.
  6. Do not ask what time it is. There is no time. There is only the kick drum.

Sven is working the door tonight

Rejected tonight: 0

Drei Ebenen / Three levels

Pick your Unterwelt

EBENE −1 · DER KELLER

Maschinenraum

Former boiler room. Now a boiler room of a different kind. 38 subwoofers salvaged from a decommissioned Lufthansa hangar. Fog so thick you will make three best friends and never see any of their faces. Hard techno, industrial, and the sound of your own heartbeat, pitched down.

146

EBENE 0 · DIE HALLE

Diskothek

A mirror ball the size of a Fiat Panda. Italo, Hi-NRG, Chicago house, and one hour nightly of pure Moroder worship. A sprung dance floor from a 1978 roller rink in Flatbush. Glitter is not optional. Glitter is ambient.

124

EBENE +1 · DAS SEPARÉE

Spielzimmer

The upstairs lounges are for grown-ups who read the house rules twice. Low red light, velvet everything, lockers, a very serious consent team, and a darkroom. (It is also a literal darkroom. Klaus develops film in there on Tuesdays. Knock.) Leather, latex, and good manners encouraged.

∞
Ausverkauft
seit 1989

Dieses Wochenende / This weekend

Das Programm

Öffnungszeiten / Hours

Wir schließen
nie. Fast nie.

Freitag
23:59 doors
Sven arrives 00:40
Samstag
Continuous
Nobody has left
Sonntag
Continuous
Bratwurst at 14:00
Montag
Closes when the
last person remembers their job

Wo? / Where?

Somewhere in Bushwick

Flushing Ave Jefferson St ⓛ Morgan Ave ⓛ
[ redacted ]
  • Take the L. Get off one stop after you think you should.
  • Walk past the restaurant supply store, the other restaurant supply store, and the mural of a cat in a spacesuit.
  • Look for a steel door with no handle. Wrong one. The one next to it.
  • If you hear a kick drum through the pavement, you have gone too far. Turn around. It is behind you now.
  • If you can find it on Google Maps, it isn't us. Please enjoy that other club. It is probably lovely.

Fragen / Questions

Häufig gestellt

How much is entry?

$25 at the door, $0 if Sven likes your coat, $400 if you ask Sven whether he likes your coat.

Is there a coat check?

Garderobe is $5. Your dignity is checked for free and returned on Tuesday in a tote bag.

Can I bring my phone?

Yes, but it gets two stickers and a small lecture. You will spend six hours not looking at it and feel better than you have since 2011.

Is it really a sex club?

It's a club where adults are allowed to be adults, upstairs, by consent, with a staffed awareness team and lockers. Downstairs it is mostly people in harnesses having very intense conversations about modular synths.

Do you serve food?

Currywurst from 02:00. Club-Mate on tap. A Sunday afternoon Bratwurst service that has made grown DJs weep.

Is this real?

No. Nein. This is a joke. There is no warehouse. Please do not show up in Bushwick in a harness asking for Sven. (Sven does not exist. Sven would not let you in anyway.)